Diary of a Freedom Fighter

The good kids at The Great Absolute Nothingness share a tale of horror from the front lines of the War on Gnomes.
"They didn't take prisoners, no, they just took lives," reports the blog. "The casualties were enormous!"
The gnome infestation is obviously more serious than we first thought. Lawn ornaments my foot! Try telling that to the stupid sales clerks of Bath and Body Works. They kept saying "Lots of people like Cucumber Melon." I won't buy their suck-bad gay crap to fill my designer home-fragrance void.
"Three of the [gnomes] dropped on Tammy from above and took her out quickly. Joey stood up and let loose with his 12 gauge in to the trio after they had finished Tammy, only to be taken out by the sniper." Wow. This is getting serious.