Your Mom is Hot and/or DEAD

Once there was a boy named Jamie. He had some great friends, but his greatest was his mom. Not in some sissy way like that. She was just different than the other moms. While they were busy going to their fashion shows and bridge parties, she was home with him. They'd play in the backyard together, go on bike rides, have long talks, She was the best football player on the whole block. One day, Jamie's mom got hit by a semi. The truck knocked out all her kool-aid for several hundred feet. But don't worry kids. She'll build you a rainbow. Way up above. Mmmm....I love happy endings.

The driver was gnome related through marriage.

Dictated but not read.